81194
by scribbles from ko
Summary: One day, Killua kind of died. And, well, Ray was born. "I made shrimp cocktail, trout marinated with mustard sauce and rice, Sushi Bourgogne Style." Isabella stared at the raven haired four year-old dumbly. Many spoilers.
1. 81194

**81194**

Ray was a weird child, the oddball of the group. While Emma had her own perks, along with Don or Norman or even Anna, Ray was truly… Odd.

As a young toddler, Isabella had carried him in her arms time to time. One of the small child's ears were pressed against her shoulder blade, almost as if hearing her heart beat. When he was old enough to walk on his own, she would sometimes put him down to the earthy ground, letting him explore the fields with his tiny, baby steps.

That was when she noticed something, courtesy of the older children's observation.

"Hey, how many laps has he made?"

Isabella blinked at the statement. Following the children's gaze, she spotted a familiar mop of black hair bobbing near the house. _Ray_, she noted, taking down dried bed sheets and folding them up neatly.

Carrying a basket of laundry, Isabella prepared to reenter the building. Glancing to the side, she noticed how that child was still trotting, making a turn as he disappeared to the other side of the house.

Pursing her lips, Isabella made a light hum. Maybe it was just his way of entertaining himself, later chuckling as other children began to follow his march.

_Just like a mother and her ducklings. _She quickly looked away to ready the bell.

-.-.-

The next few years were especially odd, however. Emma, Norman, and Ray just became four.

"Ray, what you doing?" Emma had said simply, a thumb near her mouth as Norman peeked over her shoulder. Isabella, a bit curious as well, decided to take a step closer. She blinked again at the sight before her.

This time, the raven haired child was not making laps around the house as usual. He was making smaller circles around the same place, eyes glued to his feet. To Isabella, it was almost comparable to...

Some sort of dancing ritual.

"Mm," Ray made a quiet response, not sparing a glance to his peers. Folding her hands together, Isabella started to feel a bit concerned.

… _Where did he pick this up?_

-.-.-

A broken wire, Isabella frowned. The headquarters had provided each farm in Grace Field with decent technology, the technology mainly being the standardized testing machines. A broken wire would be dangerous, she thought. While all thirty eight of her children were bright and all…

… _Emma…_

Quickly standing up, she made haste to the storage room. There should be some equipment there. For now… Tape? Bandages would work, too. Afterwards, she would properly fix the machine herself.

Taking the equipment box, Isabella made her way down to the testing room. The children were all playing outside, but why did she still feel unnerved by something-

She nearly dropped the box at the sight of the familiar bob of raven.

Said familiar bob of raven, Ray, was sticking a finger near the broken wire.

(Please note, his hands were wet.)

"Ray!"

(Please also ignore the slight crack in her voice. Isabella had enough with this child.)

-.-.-

"I made shrimp cocktail, trout marinated with mustard sauce and rice," Ray said one day, arms chubby with a bit of baby fat as he lifted up the dish to Isabella. "Sushi Bourgogne Style."

"... Oh," Isabella responded, taking the plate a tad bit shocked.

-.-.-

The more she thought about it, the more she started to realize all the oddities surrounding that one, particular child.

Ray was smart, she knew that. Ray was definitely aware about the existence of common sense, but-!

"Mama, Ray caught us all in tag, again!"

"Ray's doing that weird dance thing again, Mama!"

"I think Ray broke the test machine, again, Mama."

"Mama, I can't find Ray anywhere!"

She quickly checked her watch, sighing in relief upon seeing his blinking light.

Ray was... He was bright, a bit quiet, but still, one of her precious children. As the Mama of this Grace Field house, she was well aware that Ray… There was something up with him. While she knew that Ray definitely _knew _the existence of… Well, logic. It just seemed as if he was deliberately… Isabella shook her head. Taking a breath, she glanced at the watch again. Mustering up some courage (and wondering why she was afraid), she decided to approach that little five year old once and for all.

… _At least, this should be better than him finding out, if he ever found out._

"Ray, what are you doing?" He was sitting under the shade, his back leaning against the bark of the tree. They were near the gate.

Ray looked up from his book, eyes staring straight into the older one's. A chill went down her spine.

_Danger, _the word spelled in her mind as she tried to push it away. Ray was _not _danger.

Looking to the left, then to the right, the child made a hum. After a short moment of silence, as if deciding what to say and what words to use, he looked up again, a small spark in his eyes.

"Training," he said with a smug grin.

"... Training," she repeated.

Maybe this was all because he read too much books. He reads a lot, after all.

… But this started well before he was literate, no?

(And a year later, she found out that he was her's all along, a cursed, twisted feeling swirling in her chest.)

("Let's make a deal," he said, book opened on his lap. "A deal.")

(She agreed.)

* * *

If he were to compare his current Mama with the first one, he ought to say…

There was definitely something about moms and puffy dresses.

He still somewhat had that feeling for the both of them, though. Well, at least the Mama right now wouldn't stop him from having friends. Or poison him. Or torture him. Or separate him from Alluka or-

At least the Mama right now was giving him the most normal (well, yeah) childhood he could ever ask for.

(_It was the thought that counts_, he mused to himself, mildly thinking back to when…)

Killua sighed, taking a step forward with Rhythm Echo pictured in his mind. Whatever the case, life was never easy to begin with, one reality or the other.

He was definitely getting Emma and Norman out. No matter what, and no matter what it took.

(And for Gon and Alluka, he would try to save everyone.)

* * *

**So like, I was rewatching hxh again so. Haha. Thanks for reading!**


	2. 22194

**22194**

Isabella found another oddity.

Well, it wasn't quite obvious at first, but it kind of happened. At that point, she shouldn't really be that surprised anymore. Her children were all special, this _plant _was special. Genius children were raised in the most beloved way, both fulfilling and unconditional. That, and…

_When did Norman started calling Ray 'big brother,' again?_

"Big brother, did you break the machine again?" Norman had made a subtle pout, trotting behind the raven haired child. Ray was holding on to an open book, eyes leaving the page to meet Norman's blue ones.

He made a serious expression, voice hushed and quiet. "Don't tell Mama."

Norman grinned. "Okie."

"Ray..." Isabella stood right in front of them, arms crossed and a frown on her face.

Said Ray went pale.

"Ack! It's Mama! Let's run, Allu-ah, Norman!"

The two kids quickly ran through the halls, tiny feet hitting the wooden boards of the floor. Isabella sighed, hand rubbing against the side of her head.

"Mama?" Emma trotted over to Isabella, head tilting as her hair antenna bounced about. Isabella smiled softly at the little girl, giving Emma a gentle pat on the head.

"No, it's nothing, Emma," Isabella said, pushing a few stray strands of orange to the back of Emma's ear.

Pausing for a moment, Emma suddenly brightened up, as if figuring out a rather difficult jigsaw puzzle. "Ray pets Norman's head all the time, too! Just like Mama!"

Isabella strained her smile harder.

* * *

**I was originally going to make this a one-shot, but then I forgot to check the _complete _button haha-_sorry_. So here's another chapter to the 81194 verse! **

**(Lol I knew about Killua and Ray but-_Alluka_ and _Norman_ no way-)**

**Thank you for reading! ****This will be a three-part story.**

* * *

Their footsteps, well, Ray's, was quiet. Quiet, to the point that you couldn't even hear it. Glancing to her children, Isabella let go of a breath. In contrast to Ray, Norman was a lot louder. Emma, though... Yeah.

She shouldn't really be concerned about these tiny quirks, however. As much as she wanted these children to live as long and _normal _as possible... This was still a farm, no matter the affection she showered them in.

"Mama, Mama. Play chess with us!" Norman beamed at her, pulling on her sleeve. Ray looked a bit concerned, Isabella noted (_that's..._ _new_), but she decided to simply smile back.

"Of course, Norman. Shall we play?"


	3. 63194

**63194**

Emma loves her family. She loves the orphanage, Grace Field, her home. She loves Mama, Norman, Ray, _everyone_.

Grace Field is her home, and in her heart, will always be.

Emma loves her family above everything.

* * *

"Emma, Emma. Get me that leaf?"

Skipping towards the tree, Emma bent down and picked up the big, green leaf that was left on the ground. Right now was outside time, everyone got to play outside and have fun! Mama was doing the laundry with the older kids. When Emma grows older, she would help out! Mama said she was too young, after all!

"Here you go, Norman!"

Ray was probably sitting at the tree near the house again, reading some book. How was Ray able to sit so long, reading? Emma wasn't sure. Reading was alright for her, but she prefers to play as much as she could, together with everyone! Wouldn't it get boring, reading that long? Or was the book very interesting, that Ray couldn't stop reading?

_He really likes books, huh! When we were younger, he would be walking around the house instead. It was fun, though!_

Giggling to herself, the thought of Ray's birthday came to her mind. That was right, it was almost Ray's birthday- they got to prepare something! Something awesome, something that would make Ray happy!

"Emma, play eye spy with me?"

"Sure!"

Playing a few rounds of eye spy, Norman and Emma was lying back against the ground, staring up to the skies. There were a lot of clouds- they looked so fluffy. Emma wondered how would it be like, lying on top of it- would it be as fluffy as it seemed?

Smiling to herself, Emma pointed ahead, towards the imaginary bear formed by the clouds.

"There!"

Norman giggled, clapping his hands. He sat up, a soft look on his face as he smiled at Emma.

"Emma, lend me your ear?"

Blinking, Emma nodded, leaning forward as Norman whispered to her, using a small voice.

A gust of wind breezed by. It was quiet and peaceful near the forest.

"Now close your eyes," he said.

Emma made a bright smile, her eyes shut and-

"I wish Ray the _best _birthday, ever!"

"Aye."

* * *

"Now come with us," Emma said, voice firm and hand extended. Ray stared at her, the floor around him drenched in oil and-

A wobbly smile reaching his lips, he took her hand.

They ran.

* * *

**I rewatched hxh again, so I finished the last part of the fic www sorry it's so short-**

**Thank you for reading! This fic is inspired by the fact that Killua and Ray has the same VA, Mariya Ise!**

**ko.**


	4. II: INTERLUDE

**SPOILERS FOR THE PROMISED NEVERLAND MANGA.  
Sequel to 81194**

**(II)2194: interlude.**

In one way, no matter how selfless and benevolent someone may seem to be, everyone is selfish.

Putting others before themselves, putting themselves behind others.

It's selfish.

* * *

Yet for some reason, people still give "selfishness" a negative connotation. Selfishness is not a bad thing, really. If people aren't selfish, then there won't be a motivational factor to be born as an impetus. Alluka stopped granting wishes because she wanted Killua to be happy, after all. It's just that simple, right?

It's like philosophy, the question of life. There can be thousands to millions volume of books to explain why an individual exists, and at the same time, just one word can answer all. People can take an eternity trying to answer why life came to be, and one can also just take one minute to find a reason for everything.

Human beings just love to make things more complicated than it really is. Without proof and sufficient evidence, others will just turn a blind eye on your ramblings. And yet even _with_ the research, people may just ignore it as well. Beliefs are such a strange thing. Every individual's mind are so different from each other.

Sighing, Allu- _Norman_, slumps. Books are littered all around him, the child skimming through each and one of them.

"So weird," she says. Or maybe he. Well, Norman's just Norman, like Big Brother and Emma and Mama, so it doesn't really matter.

Norman is just another existence, as Nanika exists as well. Norman _knows _that he was once Alluka, Killua's younger sister, but at the same time, he is just Norman.

... He is just one person.

One existence.

"Norrrmannn!" A blur of orange emerges from his range of view. Norman smiles, his best friend tackling the chair he was sitting on. Was, because he already hopped off, waiting for her to realize that he is no longer on the chair.

Emma blinks. She blinks again.

Turning, their eyes meet, and Emma exclaims loudly. "Norma-"

"Emma," he interrupts, a small finger placed on his lips, "it's the library. _Shh!_"

Emma quickly puts her hands over her mouth, the two staring each other in silence. After a few seconds, they break into small giggles.

"Let's go," Emma says, tugging his hand. "It's outside time! I wanna try exploring the forest, come with me!"

Norman beams at her. "Okay!"

And Emma? Emma is selfish. So selfish, because no matter what others say, she always put her family above herself. As long everyone is okay, then Emma is okay. As long her family is content, then Emma is content. That is just Emma, and Norman likes Emma. Maybe it's a different like than Norman and Ray's _-Alluka and Killua's_\- bond, but Norman will eventually figure out what word to put for this feeling.

Smiling to herself- himself, Norman lets Emma drag him out to the field, and a vast blue sky stretches right above them.

How beautiful.

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

"... It'll be alright, Nanika," Norman murmurs, voice low enough so the microphones won't catch a peep. "It'll be alright."

The room is a cell, and the time and schedules are strict. So strict, there is no breathing space at all, all former "freedom" nonexistent. Norman is a good actor, however. No one will ever notice his discomfort to this restricting and lonesome life. Norman made sure of that. He remembers the expression on Big Brother's face, the look of despair growing in Emma's eyes. He remembers their three-way embrace, that _Norman is going to live Norman won't die-_

It'll be okay.

Pressing his hands together, he greets the camera (a room filled with so many toys, all alone for years and years and _years_-) with a sweet smile.

(Norman is smart. He won't be caged in a room away from everyone again. He'll reunite with Big Brother and Emma without fail. He'll create a paradise for all cattle children and grant Emma's wish. He'll bring judgement to those who stand in his way, and-

Norman always win.)

* * *

**Norman (Alluka) was very interesting to write about. ****This was sitting among my documents for a while, so here you go! I had went ahead and made a sequel. Oops. ****Will update _very_ sporadically.**

Answering WHA (guest): Ah yes, I understand- I was very skeptical about NormanAlluka as well, too, until one of the guest reviews mentioned it to me when I first posted this story- that was when I thought, _hEy, __WoUlDn'T tHaT bE cOoL?_

**Thank you for reading!**

**ko.**


End file.
